i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
