After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
did i walk over a car last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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