Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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