I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
