EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
