so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
