As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
