Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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