I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
