i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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