I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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