so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
