It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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