better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Someone shattered a urinal.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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