Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
