I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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