We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
