I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
