Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
barbara walters just said penis...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
