So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
