My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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