One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
