I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
