I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
honey bunches of taint.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
