one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
