I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
