He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I need to align my fucking chakras
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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