I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No subtext here. People are naked.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My ass is underappreciated
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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