Only a mothe r could love this liver
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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