Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
