yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm drive I can fine osifer
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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