We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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