Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
