i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize