He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
