I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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