I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
