We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
