So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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