dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
