I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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