I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
