Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
