think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
