I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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