she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize