if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I have aggressive nipples.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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