nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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