did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
