You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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