like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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