you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How does one acquire holy water?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
