I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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