taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
