Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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