walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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