The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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