Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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