I wanna bring you to show and tell
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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