Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
